RUNNING TIME: 2 hr. 30 min.
RATING: PG-13 – violence, language and sexual
inneundos
CAST: Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox,
Jon Voight, Anthony Anderson, John Tuturro, Peter Cullen
DIRECTOR: Michael Bay
GENRE: Action, Science Fiction
I still like it. Yep. Still do.
Transformers holds up on DVD. At the time I wrote the
original review I hadn’t seen Shia LeBeouf in Disturbia. This guy has finally
made it past that horrible Project Greenlight movie by Pete Jones. Whatever it
was called. He’s a star in the making.
And, um, I sure do love me some Megan Foxx. She is
just insane looking. Hello? She should be playing Wonder Woman.
So here’s the bottom line - Transformers turns what
we can do with special effects on its head. It is in the league of Close
Encounters, Terminator, Lord of The Rings, and the first time we saw Spiderman
swing.
Michael Bay has finally done a movie where I don't
throw my popcorn up afterwards. I know it's cliche to say you hate Michael Bay,
but it is sort of true.
And even with Spielberg producing, he still does Bay
things which leave me scratching my head - like his editing. 2.5 hours of a Bay
movie tires your eyes out. He can't let a scene rest for more than a couple of
seconds. Girls are still just there for eye candy, although Megan Fox gets in
the action. His choice of using slow-motion to dramatize "emotional
scenes" is absolutely corny. The omission of The Transformers' theme song
is an insult to anyone who wore Transformer underoos. Okay, TMI. And his choice
of music is just horrible. It's like he's still doing car spots.
That said, Transformers has the biggest, most
bombastic effects that I have seen in a long time. The showdown between the
Autobots and Decepticons at the end is nothing short of jaw dropping.
Shia LaBeouf as teen geek Sam Witwicky holds the
picture together. It's the role Matthew Broderick played in the '80s. He's good
looking, funny and exudes awe when he first encounters the autobots. Megan Fox
as teen goddess Mikaela is just, god, a fuckin' fox. Sit down Jessica Alba. John
Tuturro as the sinister (kind of cartoonish) head of the mysterious section 7
is funny and over the top. Anthony Anderson is funny. Bernie Mac is underused.
And Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson are studs in the desert. And Jon Voight is
his usual top form self as the secretary of defense.
So much for the humans. What's the plot? Well uh it's
The Transformers! In the cartoon (which I own all box sets of) either the
Decepticons have found a new source of energon (what powers them) and the
Autobots stop them. Or the Decepticons have discovered the Autobots have found
a new source of energon and try to stop them.
That's your movie's plot. Except they call the
energon the all spark here, which gives life to all Transformers.
Optimus is Optimus. It's warming to hear Peter Cullen
(although older and gravlier) voice Optimus. Bumble Bee is a cool design.
Ratchet, Iron Hide and Jazz don't have much to do 'til the end. Megatron's
design is booty. I did like Devestator (the Tank) and Star Scream is completely
underused.
One last complaint, Transformers really doesn't
become a movie about The Transformers until the end. When the sequel comes out,
and it will, I would focus more on developing the Autobots and Decepticon's
characters - oh Jesus I'm asking Bay to develop character? Nevermind. That
ain't gonna happen. Instead let's all sing:
The Transformers, More than meets the eye Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the deceptions The Transformers Robots in disguise The Transformers More than meets the eye The Transformers.
Unfortunately, I bought the regular DVD instead of the super-pack. That contains all sorts of goodies like sketches, deleted scenes plus the box transforms into Optimus Prime!
Movie: Four Ball Point Pens
DVD: Two
Ball Point Pens
Super DVD: Five Ball Pens.
Other Shia Le Bouef movies you may enjoy: Holes,
Disturbia
Other Megan Fox movies you may enjoy: Anything she is in.
Hopefully there is some porn out there of her!