RUNNING TIME1 hr. 35 min.
RATING: R - strong
horror violence throughout and some nudity
CAST: Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr,
Ali Larter,
Iain Glen,
Ashanti,
Mike Epps
DIRECTOR: Russell Mulcahy
GENRE: Horror, Sci-Fi Horror
Have you ever taken a dump that
just made you stand back – yes we all look – and say, “My god what a
magnificent dump!”
That is Resident Evil:
Extinction.
This is one big smelly
good-looking piece of shit. Before I get into the trivial plot, let me just say
I am not as hard on Paul W.S. Anderson as other fellow geeks. I thought his
Event Horizon, although derivative of other horror movies was a helluva fun
scary ride. I, quite frankly, even like the first couple of Resident Evils.
Especially the first one. And although Alien vs. Predators is terrible, is it
any worse than Alien 4 or Alien 3?
He is a B-movie director that
must turn some sort of profit for the studios. Otherwise he wouldn’t be
working.
Or banging his wife, Milla
Jovovich.
So let’s start this review with
her. For the second sequel to Resident Evil, director Russell Mulcahy, tries to
give her Alice a “Mad Max” type look. She is worn, weathered and tired. Problem
is MJ looks like she is more tired of getting strapped into a harness kicking
CGI zombie dogs’ ass than a battered character.
Resident Evil: Extinction takes
place years after the first sequel. I do give the producers kudos for trying to
make the three stories linear. There are flashbacks to the first movie as well
as second. The T-Virus has spread throughout Earth, basically killing the planet.
Zombies munch and kill everywhere. All thanks to the nefarious Umbrella
Corporation. I wonder if Office Max where I’m freelancing is capable of this?
Hmm. Sorry I digress.
While Alice roams the desert
killing off zombies. The Umbrella Corporation has been busy beavers underground
in a desert facility that is fenced in and surrounded by hundred so of zombies.
They have discovered Alice’s blood may hold the curing to returning Earth to
normal. So of course they clone Alice, again and again and again.
Sheesh you would’ve thunk they
learned their lesson after Sigourney Weaver was cloned in Alien 4.
Well there’s also a convoy of
survivors led by Heroes' Ali Larter, Oded Fehr, Mike Epps and Ashanti. They
carry with them in a school bus, a load of children.
You know what’s going to
happen…eventually they will get whittled down and Alice will come in and save
the day.
The problem for me with RE is it
so computer generated. The sets. I guess I’m tired of the CGI zombie dogs. The
zombies look bored eating humans. It’s a really boring movie.
AND OF ALL THE CLICHES ANDERSON
AND COMPANY TOOK FROM OTHER HORROR MOVIES…WHO DO THEY KILL OFF FIRST!?!
MIKE EPPS AND ASHANTI.
Haven’t we gotten beyond killing
off the black people first in horror movies? Come on. I did think a zombie
vulture attack was pretty inspired. And there is a funny scene where the mad
scientists try to rehabilitate a zombie.
But all in all, this movie
sucks. I wish a zombie would come and eat Paul Anderson and company. Time to
flush the toilet on this piece of shit.
ONE BALL POINT PEN.